THE CONTEST

Year on Year, year by year,  IT employees gets the fear and gear up profiles


This year I am able to get to the near truth how it went. I tried to depict here in a funny way without harming the feelings of judges.

About the milking contest:

Rules:
          1. 10 Ltrs of milk has to be milked in 1 hour.
          2. The hour is further divided into 4 quarters for the participant's progress and feedback.
          3. Extra 10 mins grace will be  given if requested
          4. They can use external forces which are applicable and legal


Participants:
            1. American milker (11 years of milking experience)
            2. Japanese Milker (19 years  of milking experience)
            3. Chinese Milker (8 years of electronic experience)
            4. Indian (12 years of Milking, 2 years of onsite milking role, 3 years of milking team manager)


Context started...everyone was taken into the farm and after 2 hours came to know the results.

Chinese got 1st which is "Outstanding" rating
Japanese got 2nd  (Exceeded expectation rating)
American also got 2nd  (Exceeded expectation rating)

Indian got failed.

All the winners got awarded and paid well except the Indian.

On another day, I was able to meet this Indian candidate over the tea break. Somehow we landed on this contest topic and he explained it very well.

Inside the farm, they give few farm animals by the Judges and a stop-watch. They said it was picked with no separation parameters, partiality or unfair bias. Once it is given we cannot question or exchange for a period. If we exchange then we will be disqualified.

American was able to milk 10 Lits in 30 mins (2 quarters of an hour). Once they reached the objective they submit the output and walked away.

Japanese: As we always know they are very dedicated and perfectionist especially on the quality of the product. They used other friends and planned the time equally and used extra 10 mins of grace time. and they were able to produce 70 Ltrs of milk which is beyond objective.

Chinese: He started the project 5 mins late. They had a group discussion and finished the milking in 15 mins. They were able to milk 120 Ltrs of milk.  They went on the farm and started selling electronic stuff

Indian: It was a very tough challenge. My judge told me that this is the better place to prove my capability, endurance, time and team management and dedication. I was able to milk only 6.5 Ltrs of milk more than 1 hour and including the 10 mins grace time.

I asked him how come the difference is so huge.  He was still unsure because his judge all decision was based on the objective, environment and attitude towards milking.

I said, "still the difference is huge", you might not have done well.  I asked 2 questions.
What other participant did which you didn't follow? What you did which participant others didn't follow?


Sadly he explained secret of success;

Chinese: Even though he started his project 5 mins late. 2 member team discussed how much quantity of plastic milk is required to make 120 Ltrs of milk. They had the plastic powder and mixed with water and reached beyond the objective.  They went out of the farm and started selling electronic stuff because they don't want to taste their milk.


Japanese: They grouped small agile team of 4 and there were 4 teams which are 16 participants. They planned 5 mins of a cycle and team change for resting. So they were able to produce 70 Ltrs.


American took the support of cow milk claw tool. It took almost 10 mins to fix the milking readiness and started to milking. So, he was able to milk 10 Lits in 30 mins (2 quarters).  He didn't need any human support.

I asked him, What you did?

I did get only one team player who was a rookie.

So, what. You could have team planning.

Yes, we did team planning finally and able to find the equation to reach success.

I said " And you failed. What was the equation."

Someone has to hold the picture of cow's back and another one has to milk.

I laughed. .."You could have used the Milking machine fixed"

I asked how many cattle you got.

He said I got 7 while others got only 4.

I said all your experience might be right but your attitude might be an issue.

He blasted loudly with sadness.

Everyone got 3 California cows and while I got 7 OXE. How can I fix the milking claw on them? I was able to convince that rookie that we can arouse the excitement of  OXE and collect their semen and show as milk.

No one joined my team because they were looking for my foolishness. Judges said I got right and extra resources still my productivity is very low so they failed me. Also, my English was very poor so they failed me. And I was under utilising the rookie asking him to hold the picture of Cow's back in front of the  One which I made him play around.

I was speechless.


This is how the appraisal happens in IT company. Everyone supervisor thinks that they had done Godly decision thinking that they made an unbiased decision.

Isn't English is a language. Most of the Indian IT company started treating English as a Knowledge and measuring tool for attitude and capability.

I am not mentioning about the quality of product each one was given.

No one questions these judge because supervisors also "Trained IT Dog". (refer my previous story)
<http://traineditdogs.blogspot.in/2013/07/a-short-story-about-rookie.html>

A short story about a Rookie

< Proof reading is still pending. Sorry for the grammar mistakes and typos.>

Come out! You IDIOT. He was roaring outside my bathroom door and disturbing my story. I care a damn about these nuisances while I am defecating. I usually engage myself with superhero stories. After a while of story telling, I finished my business and got ready for today's class. That door guard was waiting for me and he splashed a bucket of water which he has to use it for his business. I said nothing but thanks so I don't have to take a bath. 

I rushed to my room and clothed my stonewashed Jeans (actually I never washed it since I bought them) and some T-shirt. I never cared about my T-Shirts. Once, my roommate came back from vacation with his sisters T-Shirt. It may be an accident, but he never wants to accept his mistake. Even I didn't knew that till I wore that one to my class.  

I rushed to my class, that Psychopath HOD (Head Of Department) is already inside the classroom and blabbering something and all other are seeing him as an Einstein. I made up a diarrhea story that I am having because of the canteen food. He gave me a look that he doesn't believe my story and I know he won't, still I like to make up something to annoy him. He said, "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO TO SOME CINEMA THEATER AND SELL NUTS OR CLEAN THE COWSHED". He grumbled to himself "I GOT WORLD BEST FOOLS IN MY CLASS" to himself". I got permission to enter, "GO..GO.. PUSH YOURSELF TO YOUR BLACKHOLE BENCH". 

That psychopath was explaining about the process and procedures about the campus recruitment. Finally I came to know that 3 Corporate giants are going to visit our campus for breeding new IT employees. Mercifully, I was eligible to participate. I get average marks and I always say, I love what I do. 

Finally, I finished my written test and group discussion and in another 30 mins I am going to sit in front of Wakra company manager. He said I am intelligent and energetic and company want's young blood. I got scared, is he is expecting for any donation or my kidney. I have nothing other than bank loans of 3 lakhs rupees on my name and nagging parents and annoying siblings. Luckily nothing was there other than my selection confirmation. I asked how much my salary will be? He said, as per our company standards it can be 21,000 rupees per month for an engineer but it may change. He asked to fill some forms and asked me to speak to HR if I have any questions and he got up from his chair. Oh! He is asking me to leave. I thanked him for his time. I came out of the interview looked like I sent 5 rockets to the moon and all landed where it has to be. I finished interviewing with other 2 companies and accidentally I got selected all of them. My classmates started thinking I am very bright and intelligent. They started asking tips to nail the interview. I utilized those chances asking them to buy me food and Cigarettes. 

After a few months, I got my  final exam mark list and still I haven't chosen which company to serve. All my friends told me Wakra will be the best because  they have an eye-catching logo and tall buildings. I got my blessings from my parents and my bank manager to take the job. I spoke to Wakra company HR and conveyed my acceptance to pursue my career with them. 

On that night, I was dreaming about my first day of Induction program. I will be treated like a Chairman. All Security will salute from the gate. I got up and got ready with my new shirt and pants. I drove my noisy bike to the company campus. I was expecting all senior managers to stand outside the gate to give me a welcome kiss as I imagined in my dream.  

My first dream didn't happen:

What! I saw an almost 30  young fellows like me standing outside the gate. The Security fellow is not allowing us to park our bikes inside the campus. Someone was asking what if I lost my bike outside the campus. Finally, he said "DON'T WORRY, WE WILL WATCH YOUR BIKE. PLEASE WAIT FOR ANOTHER 10 MINS, COMPANY BUS WILL PICK YOU TO ANOTHER CAMPUS WHERE THE INDUCTION WILL HAPPEN. YOU-ALL WILL GET ID CARD FROM THERE AND FROM TOMORROW ONWARDS YOU CAN PARK YOUR VEHICLE INSIDE". I felt like my importance is uncared. Still I carried remaining dream where the Managers will respect me in the Induction hall. 

Then I reached to the Induction hall where I saw more fellows, almost 200 of them already placed their rear end. Oh! Man, this job has more competition. How come I can become chairman beating these Nerds. Somehow I started killing my dream of becoming chairman of that company. In the Induction program I was taught about some complicated system which will record my daily attendance tracker, my appraisal and some policies and securities and bullshit. All where very new and felt very complicated. After 7 boring hours all I got was a free lunch, photo company Id and my offer letter. End of that day, I called my parents and friends and blabbered about my salary. I feel happy thinking  that my career is in good hands. 

Day 2: 

      

Today is my Technology selection day. Company officials asked me to choose Microsoft technologies out-of-blue, which I was not interested. I saw few others crews were selected for Java and Oracle. I asked to those  officials, Can you please put me to that team technology. He answered me, 'NO', Already that team has outgrown hence you have to stay at Microsoft. This is how the Microsoft company was originated. From now on my technology is Microsoft, chosen by some silly fellow.  End of that day, I received training location and domestic tickets to travel for a week. My dreams started dying day-by-day. 

The day I became a Microsoft expert:

After one week of lifeless training on DotNet technology, I realized that I am not going to change anything but for sure I feel special and can develop programs right away. I came back to base location for my assignment and found there was none. It was 3 tedious weeks sitting and doing nothing other than searching for assignment. Most of hip people in my batch got selected for a funky assignment. I was left alone. I started spending my time with Dotnet reference books. I ate with him, walk with him and even took them to loo. I became the prophet of Dotnet technology. 

  

My first assignment:

After few weeks of waiting, I got a call from a project manager. It was an interesting conversation in the beginning but later I came to know that it is for a support project where I have to fix defects. I fall apart. The surprise is not stopped yet, he said it is in Java and Oracle. I was totally upset. After several weeks this what I got ! I walked out of his cabin shaking my head which mean agreeing to work for that project. I went to my manager and shared my feeling that about that assignment. He scared me to take that assignment or else my salary will be cut into half. As my debts started increasing I begin to slaughter my aspiration and dreams. 

I showed up myself in the office early morning after giving my feelings to GOD at the Temple. I waited outside the ODC (Offshore Development Center) for almost an hour. I called the new manager after a long wait. His wife attended that call and replied harshly that he is working in shift. Allow him to sleep at our house and you can screw him when he is at your place. The next minute I heard a disconnection tone.  I don't know what to do , I waited… waited.. And waited for hours at least I met him in the cafeteria. We ate our lunch together and went to ODC and took that  project. 

After a year, I got experienced with Java and Oracle technologies. Now my date is Java and Oracle reference books. I totally gave up my chairman dream instead started to build a new set of dreams. Another 6 interesting months passed. I became SME (Subject Matter Expert) for the Java and Oracle technology in my project. I became famous and my life went very smoothly. One fine day I came to know that our project contract is over. I got moved back to the free pool.  All happen over the night. I cursed, every bastards. I came back to meet my very old manager for the next assignment. My goodness, he was replaced by another half-wit person. He acted like a monster when I said I was working on Java and Oracle for last 1.6 years. He acted like a Maharaja and I am his servant. My fear  of Debt Vs Income calculation was ripping me like a used tissue. 

My career became trifling  :

After moving to the free pool team, I spent few weeks with hippies who were also searching for next assignment. One day, I received a Welcome email confirming about my selection of my next assignment and asking me to report as soon as possible. That email didn't say anything about that project. I ran to meet him with a dream of working in a development project on Java and Oracle technology. Well again I disappointed my dreams. It was a support project on SharePoint technology.  What the heck is that? I never even seen or heard about that technology.  I told to that manager, I never worked on that technology. He said "No worries man, I give you an opportunity to learn. No one comes to this world knowing everything". Well, you know "ADVICE IS THE ONLY PIECE OF WEALTH EVERYONE WISH TO SHARE". The funny part is anyone can give it. 

By now, I was flooded with financial obligations on top that my mother demands me to get married and breed her grand children's. With my salary, I can fulfill my basic needs and enjoy a limited luxuriousness. How will I feed 1 more mouth. I don't want to think about my marriage but beautiful 'WOMEN' appears in my dreams and started provoking me.   

I started learning and working on that SharePoint for 3 months . I got several dates with SharePoint reference book and we became friends. Fortunately, one day I met a resource fulfillment manager at the smoking zone. He was explaining about his marvelous findings about the IT market. He was preaching like a prophet of IT world. Everyone around him was rowing their heads. Some adds their versions to that subject to make it more attractive. I got influenced by the Resource Manager's promising statement "IF YOU GET CERTIFICATION ON SHAREPOINT, I WILL GET YOU A PROJECT AT ONSITE IN NO TIME". Initially I thought it was just hype  but that was true. I found a good center to learn more about the SharePoint. I gave up my sleep and even personal activities. The fee was half of my one month salary but I spent almost one month salary for the reference books . After a month of my HERCULEAN effort, I got a certificate with my name printed on it. I was really excited to show this certificate to that resource manager for sending me to on-site. 

In my current project, I have to work as Indian NIGHT OWL to cover US time zone. Somehow I managed to push my tiredness to meet that Resource manager. Those 15 mins walk from my seat in his place I dreamt about my On-site job, marriage, car and what not. Happiness was blooming in my heart.  

Then I met him and presented my achievement with my confident voice. He doesn't have a separate cabin, his team works next to him. He looked at my face and said, "GOOD JOB"? That's it, I showed him Wonder of the world and this is how he react. Then I thought maybe he is not intelligent to fill the puzzle. I reminded him about his promising statement.  He looked at me and said "PLEASE MEET ME BETWEEN 4PM TO 5 PM EVENING TIME". I was really tired still I want to take that on-site assignment which will triple my savings. I don't want to carry this tension to my room so I planned my daytime in the company provided dormitory. By the way those dormitory was stinky.  It was built to support company policy and no service. I got a few hours of sleep and went back to see him. He was not at his seat, maybe he might have gone to take a leak or smoking.  After some time, he came back with a cup of coffee in his hands. "HEY !, YOU BACK". I was expecting him to show me list of on-site assignments ready for me. Instead he said "SORRY MAN, I WAS VERY BUSY IN THE MORNING. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU". I explained again about his promising statement. He said "I DON'T HAVE ANY OPPORTUNITY FOR SHAREPOINT INSTEAD I HAVE SOME OPENINGS ON DOCUMENTUM TECHNOLOGY. THIS IS NOT FOR ONSITE. MOST OF THE SHAREPOINT PROJECT NEED EXPERIENCED RESOURCES".  What is going on? Which world am I living? In one SharePoint project, Manager asked me to work when I have no clue about that technology, now I have good knowledge but they demand for experience. How can I earn experience if I was not assigned to any project.

I lost my gravity, my hope, dream, everything. I walked out of that place cursing myself for choosing this career. I informed my project supervisor that I am sick. I came home and slept for few hours and got up at the midnight and opened my window and had few smokes. I felt that I am never going to get married or buy a house if I continue like this. These Corporate Maharajas never going to allow me to succeed. 

I was inspired by company Logo, slogan and the tall buildings in their campus. I was trained in Microsoft Technologies but was asked to work with Java and Oracle and then asked to work with SharePoint and then on Documentum. When will this corporate harassment going to end? Will Lord Krishna going to reborn to demolish these corporate sociopaths. 

This is the time to write a resignation letter and prepare a better resume for next Corporate Job.

Message From Author: 

"Life of a Rookie" is filled with adventures than "Life of PI". Fresh engineers are priceless when they were on campus and it becomes zero after taking the corporate job. Most corporate managers treat them as a buffoon and give no human respect. I don't blame those managers they might have gone thru the same phase.  I felt sympathy for them but I cannot change their world. No savior is going to show up and change your world. Don't trust any corporate promises completely because they were created by corporate dictators. It can and will be changed  from time to time. Pick the job or technology you like and go ahead with it. 

REMEMBER: IF YOU REPEAT ABOUT YOUR WEAKNESS THEN YOU WILL END UP AS WEAK. 

"YOU CAN DO IT… Rookies"